Is it even possible?
I have a post on relationship with your ex where i talked about what kind of relationship to build with your ex, how to consider your partner feelings when meeting with people from your past and how to keep it really simple and not hurting anyone.
I want to talk about “how to get over that ex” we all have that “ex” we had always wanted to work things out with, that ex that was suppose to be the father of your children, the husband you have always day dreamt about but along the line you both agreed it wasn’t the best for you guys to stick around when it’s not favoring anyone.
These following steps might help you get through gradually
“that’s if you are open to new possibilities and let go of the past“
1. Talk to a professional: yes, sometimes it’s not easy to talk about your struggle with a third party for the fear of being judged, so i suggest you talk to a professional (counselor, therapist, life coach or a relationship expert) whom you don’t have any kind of relationship with.
- They don’t know you from anywhere, other than your filled in details.
- They won’t judge you because they are trained to listen to you
- They will always try different method to help you feel comfortable.
2. Avoid any discussion about your ex: it is possible because you can survive if you don’t talk about them. I don’t mean at all but let’s keep it minimal. Talk more about whom you are dealing with now.
3. Fill your new partner in all “ex” spot: am not saying you should compare your new partner with your ex because when you do this, you are already killing their spirit and making them insecure. They would want to try and be like your ex and you will just noticed you dating your ex in the form of another being. You will loose your new possibilities and hope to the past and this will get you stucked. Filling in your new partner in your ex’s spot is you letting him/her know all that happened and all you guys used to do together and what went wrong, this would Make him/her pick few things to spice up every moment.
4. Don’t keep secrets: be open minded.
5. Give room for love, patient and trust again.
6. Take it very slow and steady.
7. Forget the past, work on the present and get ready for the future.
8. Don’t be afraid to let him/her know you and be known.
9. Lastly, pray about it.