It’s every girls dream to walk down the aisle someday with the right man. The joy, the excitement, the fun and most especially the courage to accept him in front of man and God. The exchange of vows, the heart that wants what it needs.
As i walked down the aisle, it wasn’t as much fun as i expected it to be. Who am i to think my feelings would change towards him on this day? who am i to think this would be the solution to my problem.
What i feel for him right now is neither love nor hatred. Then i looked at the faces of people standing as a sign of respect and honour as i am walking down the aisle with my father, some are crying seeing me in that dress, some are just filled with excitement and some are praying for their daughters to experience this but i am dying on the inside.
There he was standing to received me, looking really handsome and ready for me. He is everything any woman could ask for but this woman it’s a no.
Was i forced to this? ‘YES but unknown to them. Do i have a choice? ‘YES but didn’t choose it’s… Why am I feeling so terrible now after deciding? ‘I DON’T KNOW’
His smile is beautiful, his eyes are watery right now. Am his little angel sent from God in human form to complete his life but mine is incomplete despite he is going to be the best husband.
Do i turn back now and be the runaway bride? I think i should just go on with it and make him happy, at least my children will have the most loving father in the world.
It is time for the vows… Am doing this in the presence of people but them i just remembered there is someone up there watching us all. Am i going to lie in his presence too? He is the author and the finisher of Marriage, he ordained marriage but now am going against the true meaning of this establishment.
Am not happy, i don’t love him. I think it’s time to be true to myself but again look at my mum’s face. She is so proud of me and happy. She wanted this, he wanted this and everyone else except this bride that doesn’t feel anything for this perfect man.
I can’t disgrace my family, i won’t let my mum down. He just finished his vows and i don’t even remember what it sounded like. Have always dream about how i would be staring deep in his face ‘my true love’ while he reads his vows, this is not my dream.
Wait is my face leaking water? why is the water burning? Oh it’s tears… Am crying…. People are crying… He is crying too but husband it’s not for you… Wait people it’s not tears of joy, it’s me signing my way to happily never after.
It’s done… I just changed the last name… Mum i just married for you… Husband am sure you are now happy…. Dad why are you sad? You wanted this too right? So don’t pretend to be sad… husband she is never going to get jealous because you free to do anything…. She is going to make babies with you… We would raise a house not a family or home… You wanted a marriage, we just had a wedding…
I just sold my happiness to a happily never after….
This is the cry of an unhappy bride as she walks down the aisle…